She Gained a New Understanding of “Money Is the Bedrock of Marriage”

By Huanxing

Under a dusky light, Amuer and her family were having a meal in their farmyard. Cheerful laughter dispelled their long day’s fatigue. A simple husband and the plain yet warm married life satisfied Mongolian girl Amuer. They lived such a happy life for over ten years.

With Amuer being tempted by money, her marriage started to be in trouble.

In order to provide a good learning environment for their child, Amuer and her husband decided to come into and work in city. When they came to a bustling and unfamiliar city, Amuer was dazzled by the magnificent buildings and couldn’t help but look forward so hopefully to her future life.

Compared to the high-rise buildings, the bungalow Amuer and her husband lodged in seemed extremely humble. Moreover, once the landlord wanted his house back, they had to move as quickly as possible. Amuer found a job as a decorator and her husband worked on a building site. They were looking forward to making more money to improve their family situation.

Amuer decorated many houses. Some were duplex apartments and others were villas. They were all in the central area of the city. Wide and bright rooms, and fancy fixtures made Amuer incredibly envious. She often stood alone by big French windows, looked around the houses which did not belong to her, and then turned around to overlook the bustling city. At that time, she couldn’t help thinking, “When can I have my own condominium unit?” In particular, whenever she saw that, the ladies of the houses wore fashionable clothes while she wore work clothes on which there were slurry and putty, she felt very distressed.

During the work breaks, she often chatted with her workmates. They often sighed with emotions, “Money is the bedrock of marriage. Without it, marriage will not be secured.”

“Men fear getting into the wrong line of business, while women fear marrying the wrong man.”

“Finding a husband is an extremely important matter. Only by marrying a rich husband can a woman live a happy life, otherwise, she will suffer hardships along with her husband in her life.” …

Their words struck Amuer’s heart. After she came to work in that city, she felt only being wealthy could allow people to attain the life that they wanted for themselves and that only by marrying a rich husband would women be happy. She often thought to herself: “Look at those ladies who live in big houses. They found a rich husband, so they wear gold and silver, and live a lavish lifestyle. How happy they are! But looking at myself, I married a husband who doesn’t have much money and isn’t very capable, so I have to work a temporary job along with him. I simply can’t compare to those ladies. It turns out that I have chosen the wrong man.” Thinking of this, a feeling of grievance welled up inside her. After returning home, she was filled with spleen when seeing her husband. She thought that the reason why she suffered hardships outside was all because her husband could achieve nothing and could not make her happy. Gradually, she smiled less and less. She thought she was not happy at all.

Once, Amuer and her workmates were decorating an extravagant house. The lady of the house looked at them with distain and said, “How could you all work to support your family? What are your husbands doing? How could they let you endure these sufferings?” To Amuer, her mockery was undoubtedly like pouring oil on the fire. Amuer felt particularly wronged and aggrieved in her heart, “‘Marrying for clothing and food.’ We both are women, so how can her husband be so rich? Why is my husband so useless that I have to work and suffer hardships?” After returning home that evening, she saw her husband cooking, the anger inside her rose up, and she said angrily, “It really is true that comparisons are odious. Others’ husbands can earn a great deal of money and let their wives have a comfortable life and live in a big house, while your life is just revolving around the kitchen stove. Only men who can achieve nothing do such things. I don’t know what I was thinking when I married you.” With that, she walked into the room with a stern face. Her husband glanced at her and didn’t know what to say. Although they sat at the same dinner table, their hearts strayed far from each other. The happiness and warmth in the farmyard could not be seen anymore.

Amuer and her husband felt like strangers; in her misery, God’s salvation came upon her.

Distressed Amuer had to go to the church to seek comfort. She often participated in gatherings, sang hymns, listened to the pastor’s preaching, and exhorted herself with the Lord Jesus’ words, “Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knows that you have need of all these things. … Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient to the day is the evil thereof” (Matthew 6:31, 32, 34). Although she knew that the Lord’s will was not to allow people to pursue food, fashion, and riches, and that she should not be worried about these worldly possessions, yet she couldn’t practice the word of the Lord. Whenever she saw other people live an exceptional life, she would spontaneously feel that she fell short and complaints against her husband would be produced uncontrollably in her heart.

Once, because the landlord urgently wanted his house back, Amuer and her husband had to move again. At that time, it just happened to be the August rains, and their luggage was wet by the rain on moving day. Seeing the small house they had just rented and the luggage scattered on the floor, Amuer could not bear any more, then threw down the things in her hands, complained and said, “I really can’t live like this! Being with you makes me suffer so much. I have had enough of this!” Hearing what she said, her husband said nothing and just sat aside with his head down.

From that day on, there was no communication between them and they became estranged from one another. They didn’t go to work together and their home looked increasingly deserted and lonesome. Amuer didn’t want this; sometimes, she stayed alone in the cold and empty house and missed how she and her husband talked and laughed together before they came to the city. But now why were they growing further apart?

Just when Amuer was in a lot of pain, she accepted God’s work of the last days. She regularly gathered and read God’s words together with her brothers and sisters. She felt at ease and she enjoyed it. Moreover, God’s word is so practical. No matter what difficulties and problems she encountered, she could always find the answer in God’s words. And this brought hope to her life of crushing pain.

God’s words untied the knot in Amuer’s heart, and allowed her to understand that her desire for money was the root of her pain.

One day, Amuer saw these words of God, “Though there are millions of marriages in the world, every one is different: How many marriages are unsatisfactory, how many are happy; how many span East and West, how many North and South; how many are perfect matches, how many are of equal rank; how many are happy and harmonious, how many painful and sorrowful; how many are the envy of others, how many are misunderstood and frowned upon; how many are full of joy, how many are awash of tears and cause despair…. Whether marriage itself brings happiness or pain, everyone’s mission in marriage is predestined by the Creator and will not change; everyone must fulfill it. And the individual fate that lies behind every marriage is unchanging; it was determined long in advance by the Creator.” God’s words allowed Amuer to understand that everyone’s marriage is predestined by God, that it is not someone marrying the wrong person, that finding a wealthy partner is not something that you can just do if you want to, and that whether one’s partner is poor or rich is controlled and arranged by God, and cannot be changed by human will. Amuer thought, “My husband’s hometown is right in the opposite direction to mine, and there are several thousand miles between us, but we could know each other, understand each other and end up getting married. Isn’t this God’s arrangement? My husband is honest and considerate toward others. After we got married, he not only shows concern for our family but is considerate of me and cares for me. When he sees I am tired from working hard, he will do more housework. Actually, my husband is quite good and I should not lose temper with him.” Under the guidance of God’s words, Amuer wanted to change her attitude toward her husband and was unwilling to be cold toward him as before. Therefore, she took the initiative to speak with her husband and the atmosphere in their home eased a lot.

However, when her husband couldn’t find a job or earned less money, she couldn’t help but begin to suffer and thought that he could achieve nothing and could not make big money, and that there was no happiness in this kind of hard life. At that time, she couldn’t help but begin to complain again. She then confided her pain to God through prayer and asked God to guide and lead her. After that, she saw in God’s word, “Though in this evil age people are constantly bombarded with distorted messages about marriage, which create even more additional requirements and give people all sorts of baggage and strange attitudes, any person who has experienced marriage knows that no matter how one understands it, no matter what one’s attitude toward it is, marriage is not a matter of individual choice.” “Satan uses one of these social trends after another to corrupt man’s what? (Conscience, reason, humanity, morals, and view on life.) Do they cause a gradual degeneration in people? Satan uses these social trends to lure people one step at a time into a nest of devils, so that people caught up in social trends unknowingly advocate money and material desires, as well as advocate wickedness and violence. Once these things have entered man’s heart, what then does man become? Man becomes the devil Satan! This is because of what psychological leaning in the heart of man? What does man advocate? Man begins to like wickedness and violence. They do not like beauty or goodness, much less peace. People are not willing to live the simple life of normal humanity, but instead wish to enjoy high status and great wealth, to revel in the pleasures of the flesh, sparing no effort to satisfy their own flesh, with no restrictions, no bonds to hold them back, in other words doing whatever they desire.

God’s words laid bare the root of Amuer’s pain. It turned out that her advocating money was following Satan’s evil trends. She understood that, although with money, people could enjoy high status and great wealth, could eat well and be dressed well and could satisfy their own physical desires without limit, yet in the end they could only become more and more depraved, and live in a state of emptiness and pain. At that time, Amuer thought about how, since she had come to work in the city, she had always felt so envious and wanted to pursue a wealthy life when seeing the rich people live in fine houses and wear diamond and gold. At first, her marriage life was very happy. However, just because her husband couldn’t earn much money to let her have the life she wanted and to satisfy her desire, she felt dissatisfied with him and even mocked him. She realized that Satan’s evil trends had really harmed her too deeply. Satanic principles and views such as “Money is first,” “Money is the bedrock of marriage” and “Without money, marriage will be insecure” corroded her thoughts and caused her to unknowingly no longer be satisfied with the simple and average life but begin to pursue wealth and use money to evaluate whether her marriage and life were happy. Meanwhile, she had more additional requirements in her marriage. She thought that, a man must be rich, have a house, and be able to let his wife live a life of riches and only this is a good man. Gradually, she began to look down upon her husband and always complained that he wasn’t very capable and wasn’t able to give her anything she wanted out of life. Consequently, she lived amidst her pain and grievances every day, her relationship with her husband was becoming colder and colder, their family lost the warmth of times past, and there was no longer any laughter heard in their home. She truly saw that Satan had inculcated mankind with all things contrary to the truth, so that people fight against the sovereignty of God, constantly advocate material desires, pursue material enjoyment, and live in agony, unable to extricate themselves. She realized that these were the afflictions Satan’s evil trends had brought to her.

Can money really make people obtain the happiness they desire? Amuer thought of her cousin she grew up with. Her cousin’s husband was smart and capable, and could earn much money. Their family owned a house and a car. Although her cousin had no worries about being able to afford food or clothing, her husband was often out carousing and indulging in debauchery, and seldom came back home. Her cousin became more miserable due to being rich. Besides, Amuer heard that, there are many rich women who live in a lavish home and live in the lap of luxury, but their husbands keep mistresses without a single qualm and treat their houses as a hotel. How could there be happiness at all in their lives? There is a popular saying in society that goes something like this, “Better to cry in a BMW than laugh on a bicycle,” which is portrayed in the truth that many women advocate money and follow evil trends. In order to live in a big house, have a nice car, afford high-end products and name-brand purses, they abandoned their own families, hang out with wealthy men. They would rather act as a mistress than live an average and ordinary life. They have become more and more greedy and degenerate, have lost their dignity and integrity, and have become sacrificial victims of Satan’s evil trends. If it weren’t for the guidance of God’s words, Amuer would never have seen Satan’s schemes behind the evil trends, even her marriage would have fallen apart like those women’s. It turned out that her desire for money was the main culprit that destroyed her happy marriage. Thinking of all this, Amuer couldn’t help but thank God for saving and protecting her.

A happy boat sailed again.

Amuer read another passage of God’s words, “When you repeatedly investigate and carefully dissect the various goals of life that people pursue and their various different ways of living, you will find that not one of them fits the Creator’s original intention when He created humanity. All of them draw people away from the Creator’s sovereignty and care; they are all pits into which humanity falls, and which lead them to hell. After you recognize this, your task is to lay aside your old view of life, stay far from various traps, let God take charge of your life and make arrangements for you, try only to submit to God’s orchestrations and guidance, to have no choice, and to become a person who worships God.” From God’s words, she understood that only by bidding farewell to the way she had lived, getting rid of the bondage of Satan’s evil trends, and learning to obey God’s sovereignty and arrangements would she become the happiest person. Then she came before God and prayed to Him, “O, God. I lived on the basis of Satan’s evil viewpoints in the past, always pursued a wealthy life and wasn’t willing to lead an ordinary life. It is too painful to live under the domain of Satan. I want to leave my previous ideas of what to pursue behind, obey Your sovereignty and arrangements, and cherish my marriage well. Amen!”

After Amuer gained discernment regarding the satanic fallacy “Money is the bedrock of marriage,” it felt like a very heavy weight had been lifted from her and the depression and pain in her heart all evaporated. She saw that the marriage God had arranged for her was the best. Although her husband couldn’t give her good material enjoyments, he was willing to toil, could endure hardship, never kept things from her and was single-mindedly devoted to her and their family. Every time she was unhappy or angry with him, he was always forgiving of her, helped her cook food and do work around the house. He cared for her silently through practical actions. No amount of money could buy this happiness. The marriage God had arranged for her was the best and most suitable.

After understanding all this, Amuer started to be considerate of and take care of her husband as she used to. Her husband saw her changes and a long-lost smile emerged on his face. The sound of laughter was heard in their house again. Once, her husband was out of work for five days in a row. Seeing he was mopey, she knew that he was getting agitated about making money. From God’s words she understood that how much money each person could accumulate was in God’s hands and that what God had prepared for them was enough. Therefore, she said to her husband, jokingly, “Won’t we put food on the table without making money for several days? What is there to be agitated about? …” Hearing that and seeing her understanding attitude, he started smiling.

Besides, Amuer found out that the marriage God had arranged for her embodied God’s kind intentions. If she had married a rich person, she would have focused on food and clothing every day, and enjoyed the pleasures of sin. Then, she would not have come before God, much less gained God’s salvation. She realized that only when living with God was she the happiest. In the days that followed, Amuer paid heed to reading God’s words, often communicated about God’s words with her brothers and sisters and she felt very satisfied and also enjoyed peace and joy. The warmth and happiness they had always had was restored in their home. Now, Amuer has had a house to herself, which is not big but very warm. She is very content. She has truly come to appreciate that real happiness isn’t about enjoying high status and great wealth but about coming before God, obeying God’s sovereignty and arrangements, and living by God’s words. Only this is a meaningful kind of life.