By Dingding, China
“Are you like me, who work hard silently in sweat under the sun? Are you like me, who will not give up pursuing the desired life even when faced with cold shoulders? …” Every time this familiar melody resounds in my ears, my thoughts will go back to the past …
I Studied Hard for a Diploma
In 2011, I failed the college entrance examination, and met my Waterloo for the first time. Unwilling to admit defeat, I resolutely went to restudy in a highly-academic high school of the neighboring county for another year. During that period, I got up at 6 a.m. and would continue to study under the covers with a flashlight after the evening study session. I finished my workbooks one after another and I read my Chinese Politics textbook so often that it was completely dog-eared. … Although study was very boring and tiring, I firmly believed that one day my hard work would surely pay off.
In the college entrance examination of 2012, I got 564, a good mark that was 2 points higher than the cutoff score of the key university. I was very happy, and thought: All my hard work is not in vain after all! With this high score I am surely able to enter a good university, and so find a good job after graduation. With full confidence I applied for admission to a well-known university, which was my first choice. However, I had never expected that the entry score of that university was 565! Only because of one point margin, I missed the university I had always dreamed of attending. At the moment, my heart was full of disappointment and unwillingness. Comparing my hard study and great effort in the past with the present result, I was disappointed and remorseful in my heart.
After the examination, my mother led me to believe in God. However, I didn’t take belief in God seriously, nor did I attend gatherings regularly. In my heart, I still wanted to change my fate by my ability. Afterward, I chose a local mediocre university, yet I was not reconciled to such a humble life. I thought that as long as I was willing to pay the price, I would surely get a payback. During my college years, I was nearly always the one who got up earliest and listened in class most attentively among all my classmates. When my teachers taught professional knowledge, I made careful notes of it and turned it over in my mind. In addition, I often read extracurricular books in the library to enrich myself. In order to improve my overall assessment score, I joined the students’ union of my faculty, actively undertook all sorts of activities in cooperation with the faculty; I also organized teams to take part in social activities in summer holiday, received a first prize for it in the university, and the essay I wrote about it was published in the campus newspaper. In my junior year, to improve my professional equipment, I spent my summer holiday going to a training organization that was quite far from my home to attend vocational skills training every day. I hoped, with my own efforts to enrich my life experience, I could get more scores to build a strong foundation for finding a good job in the future. My efforts produced corresponding returns—I won the first and second scholarship in the university many times. For this, I was confident that relying on my efforts, I would surely find a good job and have a beautiful future.
Relying on Myself, I Always Ran Into Walls
Time was transient. Soon I would graduate and so had to find a job. I wrote all my experiences and prizes on my resume and confidently attended more than ten recruitment road shows and sent out my resume to the large famous enterprises that offered jobs related to my major. Unexpectedly, my resume was either refused on the spot, or received without further reply. I couldn’t help but feel perplexed: Are all my efforts of these years in vain? Are my university diploma and all my prizes not enough for me to get a good job?
In a gathering, I poured out my frustrations of hunting for a job to the brothers and sisters. A sister fellowshiped with me: “Our prospect and fate are in the hands of God. What job you will take up in the future has long ago been predestined by God. It’s not determined by our experience or diploma. So we should rely more on God to find a job.” Having heard her words of comfort, I agreed with my mouth but wasn’t convinced in my heart. I thought: It is obvious that knowledge can change man’s fate and that our destiny is in our own hands, but you said man’s fate is in the hands of God. I believe, relying on my strength I am surely able to find a satisfactory job.
After returning to school, I continued sending out my resumes everywhere and attended large job fairs. I firmly believed that I was surely able to find a job fitting in with my major. However, after a period of time, I still came up against walls. Either the jobs weren’t suited to my major, or the companies didn’t employ average university students. … The crushing defeat made me a little downhearted and puzzled about my future. But when I looked at my diploma and the various certificates in my hands, I steeled myself: Now that I cannot find a job fitting in with my major, I can choose the one that is out of my field. I believe, relying on my ability, I can definitely find a good job. Consequently, I started to send out my resumes to other companies. One time, I got an interview with a small information technology company. When I went for the interview, I encountered a graduate from a famous university and I was very surprised: How come she also applies for the job here? Could it be that she has a higher diploma but is also incapable of finding a good job? I couldn’t help sinking into thoughts: Why can’t I find a good job even though I have made great efforts? Am I really unable to control my own fate?
Finding the Root, My Heart Was Released
Until the coming of the New Year holiday, I still hadn’t found a suitable job. During the whole Spring Festival, I was very anxious. Every day, I focused on my phone to browse job-search websites, and constantly refreshed the web pages lest I might miss any good job. I didn’t dare to visit my relatives or friends, because I was afraid that they would ask about my work. I was worried about my work all day long. When I had no other option, I was forced to come before God and prayed to Him: “God! I have looked for a job for so long but I still can’t find a suitable one. Now, I am very puzzled and helpless. I don’t know why I always run into walls. May You enlighten and guide me.” After the prayer, I suddenly remembered God’s words the sister had fellowshiped with me before. God’s words say: “The fate of man is controlled by the hands of God. You are incapable of controlling yourself: Despite always rushing and busying about for himself, man remains incapable of controlling himself. If you could know your own prospects, if you could control your own fate, would you still be a creature?” Then, I saw another passage of God’s words: “For one sees that when one does not comprehend fate, when one does not understand God’s sovereignty, when one gropes forward willfully, staggering and tottering, through the fog, the journey is too difficult, too heartbreaking. So when people recognize God’s sovereignty over human fate, the smart ones choose to know it and accept it, to bid farewell to the painful days when they tried to build a good life with their own two hands, instead of continuing to struggle against fate and pursue their so-called life goals in their own manner.”
Having read God’s words, I had a deeply-felt understanding of them. After failing the college entrance examination, with the unwillingness to give in to fate, I chose to repeat a year of high school. However, after another year of hardship, I missed the opportunity again to enter the key university by only one point margin. At university, I strived to enrich myself, participated actively in all sorts of activities and vocational skills training. After graduation, I braved the wind and rain to attend many job fairs, but those recruiters did not even glance at my resume. … In retrospect, I started to have an awakening: Since I began my schooling, I have always lived by these thoughts and views, such as “One’s destiny is in his own hand” and “Man can create a bright future with his own two hands.” I thought that my fate was in my own hands, that as long as I made efforts and had a good diploma, I would surely be able to find a good job. To think I should have come up against walls. I spent all my university days striving to learn. Because of studying day and night, not only has my health broken down, but also much time has been missed which I should have spent with my friends. However, for the sake of my future and my dream, I made persistent efforts. When I succeeded academically and owned the “passport” to a good job, I always wanted to get a position in high enterprise by relying on my diploma and certificates. When my efforts didn’t pay off, I didn’t submit to the arrangement of fate but always wanted to cast off God’s sovereignty. As a result, I lived in suffering and struggled bitterly. God did not have the heart to see me being afflicted by Satan. Through the sister’s fellowship, I knew that God’s will was for me to rely on Him and obey His sovereignty and arrangements. But I had been profoundly deceived by Satan’s lies, so even though I had heard God’s words, I still didn’t believe them. On the contrary, I was led around on a leash by Satan, attempted in vain to rely on myself to change my fate, and ended up living in pain hopelessly. Now I know that the thoughts and viewpoints that I relied upon for existence are all means for Satan to corrupt and fool humanity, all negative things for me to betray God and stray from God, and are all despised by God. If I continued holding such a view of resisting God, then I would only live in pain.
Afterward, I saw God’s words say: “When you repeatedly investigate and carefully dissect the various goals of life that people pursue and their various different ways of living, you will find that not one of them fits the Creator’s original intention when He created humanity. All of them draw people away from the Creator’s sovereignty and care; they are all pits into which humanity falls, and which lead them to hell. After you recognize this, your task is to lay aside your old view of life, stay far from various traps, let God take charge of your life and make arrangements for you, try only to submit to God’s orchestrations and guidance, to have no choice, and to become a person who worships God.” When I did not know God’s sovereignty, I always wanted to create a good life and to rewrite my fate with my own hands, only to live in Satan’s deception and affliction and in great distress. Now, God’s words point out to me the right way and direction of practice: putting aside my previous, wrong views of pursuit and no longer living by those satanic philosophies. What occupation we will take up and how much wealth we can possess are all determined by God’s mastery and predestination. They are decided neither by ourselves, nor by our diploma or work experience. I am a creature and I should let God take charge of my life. Only by obeying the sovereignty and arrangements of the Creator can I get rid of the suffering of my hard struggle, receive God’s blessings, and live easily and happily!
My Dream Came True by Relying on God
Subsequently, I no longer relied on my own ability to look for a job but learned to rely on God and obey His sovereignty and arrangements. I prayed to God: “God! My future and fate are in Your hands. What job I can find is also controlled by Your hands. I am willing to submit to Your orchestration and arrangement and go by Your words.” When I truly entrusted all things to God, I saw God’s marvelous deeds.
After the Spring Festival holiday, I sent out a resume on the Internet. Then, I received an offer for an interview from a company and passed it successfully. This company is very close to my home, so I could believe in God and perform my duty while I worked there. Later on, I heard that since our company had never employed graduating students, I was the first one. And in that interview, there was the other candidate who graduated from a famous university, but I was actually employed. Having learned about these, I was deeply moved. This made me truly see God’s almightiness and sovereignty. When I was willing to obey God’s sovereignty, I saw His blessings.
After I worked for a year, our company accepted a project in another area, and intended me to take a three-day business trip there per week. It was very far and would take me a whole day to travel to and back. In that case, I could not attend meetings regularly; meanwhile, my family also worried that it was not safe for me, a girl, to rush about outside, so they all disagreed with my continuing working there. Facing the present environment, I felt very conflicted in my heart: It’s not easy for me to find this satisfactory job. If I resign, could I find another good job like this? But if I don’t resign, I cannot stand such a long journey for a long term and I cannot attend gatherings regularly. What should I do?
As I was hesitating, I saw God’s words that say:“That you can submit to each day’s environment that God prepares and each day of life He gives you, letting Him lead you, that you can most happily and peacefully live in His presence, allow Him to lead you, and are able to submit to His sovereignty. If you have this kind of attitude, you will then come to see without conscious effort that all this is under God’s command.” Pondering the words of God, I understood that although I didn’t know what would happen after giving up this job, I should truly rely on God, committing to God the matter whether I could find a suitable job in the future, and letting Him rule over and arrange it. If God had predestined me to have a good job, I could find one; if not, it couldn’t be forced and I was only willing to obey Him. So, I came before God and prayed: “God! My fate is in Your hands. I am just willing to entrust my job to Your hands. May You lead me. No matter what job I will find, I’m willing to submit to Your orchestration and arrangement.” So, I resigned.
A few days later, I saw God’s love again. The next day after I sent out my resume, I got an interview from another famous enterprise. I attended the interview with the attitude of giving it a try, and I didn’t expect that right in the afternoon of the same day, I was told that I was hired. Favorably, this company has two-day weekend, so I am able to attend gatherings on a regular basis. After I was employed, my leader told me: “Generally, we only employ men, and in that interview there was a male candidate, but we have hired you anyway. So you should work hard….”
In my experience, I saw that it is God who actually rules over all things. My leader’s thoughts are in God’s hands; that I could find a job is also ruled and arranged by God. Thank God for His opening up a way out for me, and letting me find a suitable job and taste the sweetness of obeying His sovereignty.