By Xiaoting, China
It is a wedding. The bride, holding a big bunch of roses in her right hand, is walking into the hall hand in hand with the bridegroom. … Looking at her wedding video, Zhu Yan couldn’t help but be lost in memories …
Getting Married
At her age of 19, Zhu Yan met Yan Xia, who was handsome and charming. They fell in love at first sight and then started to date. As they got to know each other, Zhu Yan found that although Yan Xia was not good with sweet words or so romantic as heroes in novels, he thought about her in all matters.
One day after work, it was pouring and it was really cold. Zhu Yan was about to telephone Yan Xia to bring her a raincoat when she saw him waiting for her at the gate of the factory. That sight moved her deeply. Then she quickly ran to him and went back home with him.
One time, a colleague stole Zhu Yan’s products for the sake of increasing her own performance. Zhu Yan argued angrily with her. After work, she complained to Yan Xia about this. Without any hesitation, Yan Xia was going to get even with that colleague. Afraid of his causing trouble, she blocked him, thinking that it was enough that he had such intention.
…………
Zhu Yan kept his good treatment of her in mind. She believed that he was the partner whom she could rely on in her whole life, and that he would certainly be able to give her a happy life.
On their wedding day, Zhu Yan, dressed in white, was standing shyly beside Yan Xia, while he held her hands firmly and promised with deep affection, “We will be together all our life. Though we don’t have much money, as long as we work hard together, our life will get better and better. I promise you I won’t let you suffer. …”
His words, though not flowery ones, moved Zhu Yan. Looking up at him with trusting eyes, she replied smilingly, “I believe you will make it and will not disappoint me.” The wedding went on in their relatives and friends’ applause and blessings …
Her Husband Follows the Enticements of Friends
In the third year of their marriage, Yan Xia wanted to run an auto-repair shop, and needed some money to cover its costs. Zhu Yan immediately went to lend money. Soon, their shop opened. Yan Xia was a skillful car mechanic, so they got a lot of customers, and often worked very late every day. Yan Xia gave all the money that they earned to Zhu Yan, and also took better care of her in life.
When there wasn’t too much work to do on rainy days, some customers and people of the same trade would ask Yan Xia to go gamble with them. The winner had to invite others out for dinner, and Yan Xia would end up drunk every time. Zhu Yan was so worried about him and couldn’t help but nag him.
One afternoon, his friends came again and said, “Yan Xia, come on, let’s go have some fun.”
“Uh … I’d better …” Yan Xia took a look at Zhu Yan’s expression, and several times, was about to speak something to turn them down but bit back his words. Seeing that, Zhu Yan shook her head helplessly. She stopped her work, went over and said, “He has something to deal with tonight, you guys go ahead.”
“Why, you’re worrying about him going astray, right?” said one of his friends as he put his hand on Yan Xia’s shoulder. And he then said to Yan Xia peculiarly, “I know you will go. You’re never a traitor, huh? Besides, nowadays how many young people don’t go to lively places? Isn’t making money just for enjoyment? If you don’t go, we will despise you. Well, you decide.” After saying this, he gave Yan Xia a push.
“Alright, alright. I’ll go with you, okay?” said Yan Xia, and he then went out with them immediately.
Seeing him go away, Zhu Yan felt something lost to her. But soon she shook her head, and said to herself, “What am I thinking about? He’s just going out for drinks.”
There being a lot of work to do, Zhu Yan got to work again.
Her Husband Becomes Unfaithful, and Their Marriage Breaks up
It was a midsummer night, with a cool air blowing. The businessmen in this street had already fallen into sleep after a busy day.
The clock on the wall said it was twelve.
“Don’t you know it’s past time to come home? I don’t know what exactly you’re doing outside.” Zhu Yan complained to Yan Xia, who had just returned home.
Yan Xia jokingly said, “Those friends are really absurd. Some of them even bragged about how many mistresses they had found. But, don’t worry, I will never do that kind of thing. Look, I came back as soon as we finished dinner, and I also refused their invitation to karaoke.”
“It’s better you didn’t go. You’ll up to no good in places like that.” Zhu Yan replied coldly.
As time wore on, Zhu Yan found that Yan Xia spoke less to her. When he got home, he paid no attention to her, treated her indifferently and went to sleep without a single word said, and he also made calls secretly in the daytime. Moreover, he gave her less money than before. When Zhu Yan asked him about that, he always fobbed her off with a few words.
At night, an autumn wind was blowing. The thin clouds drifted in the sky, as if they were giving off cold air.
Zhu Yan was sitting blankly before the computer desk, struck to the heart by those bold words on the screen. She would never have imagined that Yan Xia would have an affair behind her back. That woman even wanted to marry him. She had always thought that even if other men all stepped outside of their marriages, Yan Xia would never be unfaithful anyway, but now the fact lay before her eyes. At that moment, Zhu Yan was filled with hatred for that woman, hating her shamelessness and hating her for ruining their happy marriage. In a fit of rage, Zhu Yan blacklisted that woman on QQ.
The more Zhu Yan thought about this, the sadder she became, and she couldn’t help but slump over the desk crying bitterly. Not long after, Yan Xia came back home. Seeing her like this, he said with a wide grin, “What’s wrong with you? Who has upset you?”
Zhu Yan, unable to control her anger any more, pointed to Yan Xia and raged, “You are asking me what was going on? Don’t you know? You’re really a good actor! Tell me exactly: Who is the woman that left the message to you? When did you start to hang out with her? Do you want to marry her? I can’t believe that you’re treating me this way. All these years, so that you can run the business well, I’ve been working hard in the store all days. When it wasn’t solvent, I did everything possible to lend money. How could you be so devoid of conscience? …” After saying this, Zhu Yan was crying so much that she couldn’t speak.
However, her accusation didn’t make him feel guilty at all. Instead, he was even swollen with arrogance and retorted, “You don’t have to ask me about this. I needn’t explain anything to you. It did happen. What’s more, it’s normal to find a mistress. Aren’t my friends like this? How many of them don’t have affairs? Just face the real world!”
His cool words, just like the chilly moonlight, stabbed her to the heart. As a cold wind was blowing in through the window, Zhu Yan huddled up at the edge of the bed, grief mingled with indignation welling up in her heart.
It was dusk. The daylight ended. The neon lights on the streets were flashing brightly, as if they were showing off the unconstraint of the city.
Zhu Yan, listless and downcast, stared at this city on the stone arch bridge. She thought of how she held out hope that her mother-in-law could persuade Yan Xia to turn back, thinking that so long as he was willing to come around, she would not make a fuss over the past events. However, Yan Xia was neither willing to divorce, nor willing to leave that woman, and he hadn’t returned home for several days. What was more ridiculous was that her mother-in-law said there were too many cases like that and asked her to turn a blind eye. Zhu Yan felt these words were completely absurd. She was not a puppet; how could she pretend that woman didn’t exist? Failing to get Yan Xia back, Zhu Yan left that sad home without hesitation.
Zhu Yan’s heart was badly broken. She thought of death, but she couldn’t bear letting her old parents suffer the pain of losing her. Finally, she could only find a job and busied herself in working so as to ease the pain in her heart. But when the night was quiet, that sad thing would always come into her mind…
Living in the Darkness, Welcoming the Dawn of Life
The cell phone rang and Zhu Yan answered it.
“Hello, is that Xiaoyan? Where are you now? Mom is coming to see you. …”
“Mom …”
In the little house, a lamp lighted the room with warm light.
“I know you are suffering greatly now, but we can’t change the fact no matter what. You must cheer up. Don’t we still have God?” Slightly touched by these words, Zhu Yan raised her head and looked at her mother in tears.
Her mother opened the book of God’s word and passed it to her. And she read, “The Almighty has mercy on these people who have suffered deeply; at the same time, He is fed up with these people who lack consciousness, as He has had to wait too long for an answer from humanity. He wishes to seek, to seek your heart and your spirit, to bring you water and food and to awaken you, that you may no longer be thirsty and hungry. When you are weary and when you begin to feel something of the bleak desolation of this world, do not be lost, do not cry. Almighty God, the Watcher, will embrace your arrival at any time.” After reading God’s words, Zhu Yan was so moved that tears poured down her face and her injured heart was comforted.
Her mother fellowshiped, with hot tears in eyes, “We humans are created by God, and only God is always taking care of and caring for us in every possible way. After being corrupted by Satan, we began to keep away from God, but God has never given up His salvation of us, and He keeps calling out to us through His words, hoping that we will be awakened. God is our only support. Daughter, believe in God with mom. You just have to relate your internal suffering to God and He will help us through difficulties.”
Hearing her mother fellowship with her, Zhu Yan felt that God was calling out to her heart and spirit through His words. Because of her husband’s betrayal and her ruined marriage, Zhu Yan felt the desolation of the world and lost hope in life. In her great pain, God’s words comforted her numb heart. Not until now did she understand that only God is the One whom man can really rely on and trust in, and that God had always been waiting for her to come back before Him and accept His salvation. Zhu Yan was just like a child who finally found a true home after wandering out in the wilderness for a long time. A smile appeared on her distressed face, and she once again developed hope in life. Zhu Yan wiped away her tears. She believed that as long as she relied on God, God would help her out of the haze of her suffering.
To Be Continued …
Part Two: How to Shake Off the Pain of Betrayal in Marriage (II)