Answer: As the saying goes, “As a tree lives for its bark, a man lives for his face,” everyone cares about his face, his image or reputation in the daily life. I was the same, paying much attention to my status in others’ heart. No matter what I did, I intended to win others’ approval; when getting along with others, I also often thought: How others would see me if I do or speak like this? Would they laugh at me or think I am foolish? So I always felt very restricted and felt as if I lived for others. I was truly very depressed and fretted and didn’t know how to solve it.
Until I believed in God, I read God’s words saying, “What then is your purpose? Is it sometimes to protect your own interests, sometimes to maintain your own position, your own image, to keep the secrets of your private life, to save your own reputation? Whatever the purpose, it is inseparable from your interests, linked to your interests. Is this not the nature of man?” From God’s words and the fellowship of brothers and sisters, I understood that I cared too much about my face and image, and all that I did was for maintaining my own status in others’ heart and protecting my own interests. This is from my satanic nature. Since we were corrupted by satan, we have had satan’s poisons within us. As living by satan’s philosophy “As a tree lives for its bark, a man lives for his face,” we all treasure fame, status and face very much, and especially values others’ appraisal of us. In order to keep our face, we become very hypocritical while getting along with others, always packaging ourselves and disguising ourselves. We behave very strong outwardly while we are apparently very weak within. Sometimes, we even lie to others in order not to be looked down upon by them; we also easily suspect others when contacting with them, guessing how they will see us and if they are discussing about me behind. There is no true sincerity and trust between people nor we can get along well with each other… We all feel exhausted physically and mentally being disturbed by these states, living in pain. Clearly, fame, status and face are all the means satan uses to corrupt people and bind people, causing us to become increasingly corrupted, stray further from God, and live more painfully.
So how can we break free from satan’s affliction and live in liberation and freedom? I read some God’s words saying, “Because the essence of God is holy, that means that only through God can you walk the bright, right road through life; only through God can you know the meaning of life, only through God can you live out a real life, possess the truth, know the truth, and only through God can you obtain life from the truth. Only God Himself can help you shun evil and deliver you from the harm and control of Satan. Besides God, no one and nothing can save you from the sea of suffering so that you suffer no longer: This is determined by the essence of God.” We are created by God. We should come before God and accept God’s salvation. With the revelation of God’s words, I got to know the truth of my own corruption by satan, realizing that I always think about how others see me no matter what I do, which is living in deceit and suspect and is satan’s fool, thus I made the resolution to betray satan, refusing to live by its philosophies but to let God’s words become my guide of self-conduct. God also says, “In the dispositions of normal people there is no crookedness or deceitfulness, people have a normal relationship with each other, they do not stand alone, and their lives are neither mediocre nor decadent. So, too, is God exalted among all, His words permeate among man, people live in peace with one another and under the care and protection of God….” From God’s words, I understood God hopes we can be honest people and have a normal interpersonal relationship which is not tainted any individual profits. We neither look up to anyone nor look down upon any person, nor do ourselves expect to be thought highly of by others. As created beings, we should worship God and exalt God and obey God’s orchestration and arrangement. If we are to be a blade of grass, don’t think of being a tall tree; and if we are a tree, do not think of becoming a towering building. We should stand in our own position and hold onto our duty, then we will live easily and freely among people. After understanding these truth, I started to practice God’s words consciously. If the thought of living before others appeared again as I interacted with others, I would pray to God and forsake it. Gradually, I was able to put somewhat my face and status aside, and felt much more released and free in my heart!