By Xingwu
I was born into a poor family and still lived a poor life after getting married. Later, my husband and I both believed in the Lord Jesus and we felt like we had something to lean on. However, I still longed to live a good life, so I strived hard to make money.
My husband and I sell bamboo stems and brooms. We worked hard all year round but could barely make ends meet, while my business colleagues had built new houses and some even had bought cars. Seeing this, I felt confused: “We engage in the same business. Why is it that they can make a lot of money while I can’t?” One time, when I went to sell the bamboo stems with several business colleagues, I saw them put several big stones into the trucks, so that the trucks would weigh more; when doing business with the buyers who didn’t weigh the goods, they would exaggerate the weight of the goods by hundreds of kilograms. In this way, they made twice as much money as I did. Only then did I come to know that they made money by playing tricks. I thought, “If I play the same tricks, I can make a lot of money as well. But I’m a believer in the Lord; the Lord Jesus said, ‘But let your communication be, Yes, yes; No, no: for whatever is more than these comes of evil’ (Matthew 5:37). The Lord hates me playing tricks to deceive others.” At this thought, I felt a little scared and knew I shouldn’t go against my conscience for the sake of ill-gotten gains. After a struggle, I chose to conduct myself as an honest person and play my part as I did my business.
One day, when a business colleague saw us directly weigh our truck on the weighbridge, he said, “You’re so silly! Why don’t you do business with the tradesmen who don’t have weighbridges? They just make a rough estimate of the weight of the goods, and you can exaggerate the weight and make more money. As the saying goes, ‘Doesn’t matter if the cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice,’ and ‘The bold die of gluttony; the timid die of starvation.’ Only by playing tricks can you make more money and live a good life.” The following days, I kept pondering his words over in my mind and thought: “They make big money by playing tricks and live a good life. If I continue to do business honestly, when can I live a better life? As the saying goes, ‘Money makes the world go round.’ Who doesn’t like money?” At that time, I recalled what my pastor said: “If we sin, as long as we confess and repent before the Lord, He will forgive us.” Therefore, my moral resolve was a little shaken.
Not long after, when I was selling the bamboo stems to a tradesman, he said to me: “I’m in a hurry to deliver the goods. There’s no weighbridge here. Since you’ve weighed the goods at home, just tell me the number.” Seeing that he was in a hurry to leave, I thought this was an opportunity to lie about the weight, but it hit me that this was at odds with the Lord’s will. Just as I was hesitating, I thought of my friend’s words, so I exaggerated the weight by two hundred kilograms. Then the tradesman said: “It’s our first deal. If you are honest, I will buy your goods again.” When I heard this, my heart was pounding. I thought: “He trusts me but I lied to him. If he discovers it, how should I face him?” But then I had second thoughts: “Even if I don’t deceive him, others will.” So I didn’t feel self-blame anymore but took cheating for granted. To make him believe me, I said: “Gain got by a lie will burn one’s fingers, so I never tell lies.” Hearing what I said, he believed me. The following days, I always felt uneasy in my heart because I did something unconscionable, but I constantly comforted myself: “This is the last time I cheat someone and I won’t do it again.” However, every time I looked down at the money in my hands that I had earned so easily, I couldn’t help but go against my conscience to play tricks when doing business. Though I made more money, I lived in depression and guilt every day, because I couldn’t follow the Lord’s way but played tricks to deceive Him and offend Him. “If I keep going this way, will God still save me?” Upon thinking of this, I felt very scared and lived in fear all day.
One day, a brother came to my home and solicitously asked us about our conditions. I sighed and said, “We are unable to practice the Lord’s words and live in the state of sinning in the day and confessing at night. We feel very tired and pained. What will our end be if we go on like this?” Hearing my words, the brother said with a smile, “Your state is the same as that of most of the brothers and sisters. If we want to escape the bondage of sin, only relying on the Lord Jesus’ salvation is not enough. Let’s read some of God’s words. God’s words say: ‘For all that man may have been redeemed and forgiven of his sins, it can only be considered as God not remembering the transgressions of man and not treating man in accordance with his transgressions. However, when man, who lives in a body of flesh, has not been set free from sin, he can only continue to sin, endlessly revealing his corrupt satanic disposition. This is the life that man leads, an endless cycle of sinning and being forgiven. The majority of mankind sin in the day only to confess in the evening. This way, even though the sin offering is forever effective for man, it will not be able to save man from sin. Only half the work of salvation has been completed, for man still has a corrupt disposition.’ ‘Though Jesus did much work among man, He only completed the redemption of all mankind and became man’s sin offering; He did not rid man of all his corrupt disposition.’ From God’s words we know this: In the Age of Grace, the Lord Jesus did the work of redemption. As long as we came before the Lord, confessed and repented, He would pardon our sins. But this could only be considered as God not remembering our transgressions. As the sinful nature inside us still remains, we often involuntarily commit sins, such as telling lies, deceiving others, hungering for money and following the evil trends of the world, and so on. The reason why we live in this situation is that the Lord Jesus only did the work of redemption, but not the work of eliminating sin. That is to say, the work of redemption cannot completely resolve the root causes of our sins and rescue us from sin. Then, how can we break free from the bondage of sin? Let’s read another passage of God’s words: ‘By means of this work of judgment and chastisement, man will fully come to know the filthy and corrupt essence within his own self, and he will be able to change completely and become clean. Only in this way can man become worthy to return before the throne of God. All the work done this day is so that man can be made clean and be changed; through judgment and chastisement by the word, as well as through refinement, man can purge away his corruption and be made pure. Rather than deeming this stage of work to be that of salvation, it would be more apt to say it is the work of purification. In truth, this stage is that of conquest as well as the second stage in the work of salvation.’ In the last days, God has done one step of work of judging and cleansing people based on mankind’s needs, and has expressed millions of words to expose man’s various corrupt dispositions, from which we can see clearly our satanic nature such as greediness, slyness, arrogance and self-righteousness, so that we can truly despise ourselves, and then have the will to seek the truth, pursue to purge away these corrupt dispositions, and live out the likeness of a true man. Only then will we get salvation.”
From God’s words and the brother’s fellowship, I understood why I was constantly living in the state of committing sins and confessing. It turned out that the work of the Lord Jesus is that of redemption, not of completely ridding us of sin and cleansing us. So I was still controlled by greedy, selfish and treacherous nature. Enticed by money, I often involuntarily told lies to deceive others when doing business, though I knew this was at odds with the Lord’s will. I betrayed the Lord’s words and lived by satanic disposition, completely losing the likeness of a Christian. It seemed that only if I accepted God’s work of judgment and purification could I escape from the bondage of sin. Therefore, I gladly accepted God’s work in the last days.
One day, I saw God’s words saying: “Honesty means giving your heart to God, being genuine with God in all things, being open with Him in all things, never hiding the facts, not trying to deceive those above and below you, and not doing things only to curry favor with God. In short, to be honest is to be pure in your actions and words, and to deceive neither God nor man.” From God’s words I knew this: God likes honest people. He asks all of us to speak honestly, accept His observation in everything, and not to deceive Him or people; we should seek truth from facts and tell it like it is. After knowing God’s will, I determined to practice being an honest person according to God’s words. However, under the urge to make a profit, I still involuntarily played tricks.
To Be Continued …